google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
