I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
