So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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