Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
