my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize