i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
