You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
i need some magic done to my vagina
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
