Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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