I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
