Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
