I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
