Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
