Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
