are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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