the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
