My friends, they love my intelligence
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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