So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I will be naked everywhere
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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