He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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