I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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