When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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