so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I am full of burrito and curiosity
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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