I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
It's just like the Real World with babies
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
