This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
