well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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