This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
People in love make me want to vomit
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
