whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize