There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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