I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I just want nice things and good sex
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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