they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
