you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
