So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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