He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
