Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
