And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
