May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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