My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize