i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
