I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
so let's talk penis.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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