We won't sleep together?
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
