He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
