Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
