I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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