The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize