She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
