Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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