mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
