I'm laying in your front yard are you home
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
