She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize