Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
