the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
