Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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