i jhust puked up my retainher.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Congratulations! We have a period
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
