Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
