So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
