I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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