Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
