Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
