he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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