I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
