I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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