just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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