Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
